Status: Step One: Facts [Beast Boy]

[Beast Boy]

“Build one?” Beast Boy repeated, incredulous at the idea. “Me? No way, dude. I mean, Cyborg probably could, but he’s always too ‘busy’ with his own tech, so never does.” Which was just not cool, in Beast Boy’s opinion. Seriously, they were friends, and Beast Boy had always wanted one!

“Sure, famous now! But how awesome would it be if people were still talking about us and stuff in a thousand years, dude? I’m talkin’ a Tower statue in a park, a fifteenth Beast Boy, that kind of thing!” Copycats. Oh yeah. Only the really awesome superheroes ever had future heroes trying to copy what they did or borrow parts of their names. And a whole line of them? Ultimate fame.

“Ooooh.... Being a thousand years old would’ve been awesome, but time travel’s cool, too!” Something about the tenses struck Beast Boy, even as confusing as they were, so he had to ask, “Wait, you are training him in the time you came from? So ... what’re you doing here?”

[Brainiac 5]

In this time, at minimum, it seemed that building a moped was not an ordinary skill. Odd. “None of your other allies have the ability to?” he questioned, though he tucked away ‘Cyborg’. It seemed to be the name, but there was a 96.7% chance that it was indicative of what he was, and that was an interesting note. Perhaps he would be able to assist in recharging himself.

Ah, so he wished to be continually famous. However, at the ‘fifteenth Beast Boy’, his whole expression tightened, showing emotion. “It is not always good to have a name passed down,” he replied in clipped tones, slightly harsher than his emotionless words had been before. It was a bit of a touchy subject with him. No, having descendants with the same traits, or those who took on the name, were not always the most desirable outcome.

Again with the ‘cool’. It was seeming to be some of the ‘slang’, that Superman and Lightning Lad occasionally used around him, though he had yet to grasp the meaning. Repeated use would likely (82.5%) ensure that. “The time travel device was invented by me, so I was attempting to make it use up less energy. One of my teammates entered my lab without requesting permission, and a wrong move was made, blasting me back into the past.”

Had he been human, he would’ve sighed, but he just averted his eyes for a moment, instead, before bringing them back upward to meet the taller boy’s. “In a short analysis, I traversed here involuntarily.”

[Beast Boy]

“Cyborg, like I said.” Then he paused, putting a finger to his chin. “Well, I think. I mean, never seen him make a moped.” Beast Boy frowned, growling a little as the imaginary situation in his head got a little too much emotion attached to it as he added, “How rude would that be? Making a moped, knowing your best friend loves them, and then not giving it to him?!”

Brainiac’s reaction was confusing to Beast Boy, but at least this time the subtle emotions weren’t lost on him. He tipped his ears back, not sure what he did wrong. He laughed nervously, to try to break the sudden tension. “Yeah, I guess things could get kind of confusing by then, huh. Being the one-and-only makes you stand out more, anyway!” He waved a hand, as if dismissing the idea of multiple Beast Boys, and laughed nervously again.

Beast Boy’s mouth opened slightly as he listened, a lot of it flying right by his head. Something to do with a laboratory and high-tech stuff that he would never understand. The last bit sunk in, though. “Tripped and fell through time, huh?” He laughed and slapped Brainiac on the back in a companionable way. “C’mon, I’ll show you around town, then! We should get some pizza.” Grabbing him by the hand, Beast Boy started dragging Brainiac off in the direction of Slice of Life. “So, what do you do for fun in the 31st century?”

[Brainiac 5]

The… vehemence surprised him, but it was a true statement. “It would be,” Brainiac remarked in agreement, though he could see himself doing something like that to Lightning Lad, if only to hold onto it until he agreed to stay out of his lab. Of course, that did not seem like an intelligent remark to be making, so he did not voice it. “Building such a contraption is not difficult, though,” he informed the other matter-of-factly, his voice emotionless as usual. It was not hard… Perhaps it was not a valued skill in this time? He could not see why it would not be…

In hindsight, projecting such emotion had not been a very good idea, so he accepted Beast Boy’s excuse for his behavior with a nod, his expression loosening. He needed to… let go of that idea more, enough so that it would not be outwardly expressible, even though it was something that he needed to keep high in his databanks and never forget. A quandary that he would have to focus on at another occasion.

Before he could remark and say that his statement was not an accurate assumption, the other slapped his back, and he tensed, not liking it. He certainly seemed to be touchy-feely, and very talkative. It was a wonder that he had managed to let his speech flow at all. At least the other would let him collect data about this place, but then he grasped Brainy’s hand. His metallic, robotic hand. Naturally, his sensors could tell him what temperature the other’s hand was, what the texture was, and he could retrieve all of the data that any other human could receive… but he could not feel it. One of the reasons he did not like touch: It was something he did not have. “Pizza?” he inquired mildly, as it was a word that he did not recognize.

The older boy’s question made him frown slightly, however, as he was led along. “’Fun’?” he asked, slightly confused. “This is not a question best asked. Fun is for humans.” Why would he ask a Coluan? Even if he did not know what one was?

[Beast Boy]

His previous anger at the imaginary situation evaporated as quickly as it really should, replaced instead with starry eyes as Beast Boy clasped his hands under his chin. “You know how then?” There was no real reason to think that a person he had just met would be at all interested in making a moped for him, but that had never stopped Beast Boy before.

Beast Boy sighed with relief when Brainiac relaxed. His jokes didn’t always actually work when people were tense, but it was always nice when they did. That was why he said them, after all.

“Yeah! It’s not a good idea to eat at the Tower most days, anyway. Housekeeping isn’t really a power any of us possess.” He laughed at his little joke, and then something occurred to him. “Wait, you do eat, right? Or would the cheese get all in your circuits and short you out or something?” It seemed like a thousand years might be long enough for people to figure out how to make electronics not short out, but what did he know about the future?

The last thing Brainiac said made Beast Boy stop and stare at him. “Oh, come on. I saw you smiling earlier, it’s not like you don’t have feelings or something. You gotta have fun!” Not having fun just seemed like a literal impossibility to Beast Boy. Even Raven and Robin, who were total workaholics, had fun sometimes. Raven in her own weird way that involved stuff which Beast Boy was surprised could be called ‘fun’, but he trusted that Raven enjoyed it. As much as Raven enjoyed anything.

[Brainiac 5]

Had he not just implied that with his previous statement? Truthfully, this human with all of his contradictions was quite confusing, but Brainy nodded. “Yes, I can,” he replied, wondering what Beast Boy was getting at. Did he wish to attain the ability? Have him build one? Simply think that it was ‘cool’? (38.6% for the former, 87.6% for the middle, 92.6% for the latter)

Nodding slightly in agreement, Brainiac 5 offered up his own experience. “Many of my teammates are like that, as well, but Saturn Girl desires a clean headquarters, as does Superman.” The former was more out of the motherly tendencies she had over everyone, and the latter because he was used to such a thing. ‘Chores’. They did not sound pleasant.

However, the fact that the other had enough modicum of intelligence to ask such a question was very good, and so he answered. “It is not necessary to eat, but I can. My wires will simply use it to power my beams later on.” It was not a… pleasant sensation, however, with the uncomfortable energy powering his rays, so he did not eat often. He never refused peanut butter and jelly sandwiches made by Superman, however.

Beast Boy jerked to a stop, and Brainiac did as well, staring up at him with his calm, emotionless gaze. “I do not have emotions. Not as you do, at minimum. Coluans do not feel.” And when they did, they were likely to go insane. It was not exactly pleasant, so he would not specify unless the other did not believe him, and he was forced to. He did not wish to play his hand.

[Beast Boy]

Maybe asking him to build something for Beast Boy was probably too much right after they’d first met, Beast Boy realized. Instead of realizing that Brainiac probably just didn’t get where Beast Boy was trying to go with that question, he figured that he wasn’t interested in making something for a nearly complete stranger, so just said, “That’s cool!” instead. Maybe another time.

“Sweet! Then you’re gonna love pizza! Do you have any toppings you like? Just so long as they’re not meat, I’m cool with whatever.” Since Brainiac said he did eat, this automatically meant to Beast Boy that he had favorite foods and stuff. As long as he wasn’t like Cyborg, trying to put meat on everything, then they’d be good.

“That’s a lie,” Beast Boy said, frowning with confusion and mild indignation. “You were smiling, and then you got angry earlier. And you obviously like Superman, which you couldn’t if you didn’t have feelings. So there!” As if they’d been having an argument about it, Beast Boy declared his victory after presenting minimal evidence about a person he’d just met.

[Brainiac 5]

Ah, so it had been the latter factor, the most likely. Good to have it confirmed that his calculations were correct. And he was grasping the concept of ‘cool’, as well, so that was an added bonus.

He shook his head at the question. “I have not tried pizza before. Therefore toppings are unknown to me.” However, Brainiac 5 hesitated, before questioning him. “Are peanut butter and jelly acceptable toppings for ‘pizza’?” he inquired. He did not eat much, and therefore would not know the flavors, but he had eaten enough of that sandwich to realize that the flavors matched well together, and would therefore be good.

“I was not angry,” Brainy replied in his same emotionless tone, and he was correct. He had not been lying, merely… bristling, as Timber Wolf would have said, and like a wounded beast lashing out. Not angry. He was never angry, a fact which the other did not seem to understand. But what did he expect? The other did not know him, after all.

“It was merely a farce,” he informed him, his standard answer coming to his mouth. “I adopt it to appear more human, to blend in. The rare Coluan who feels emotion goes insane. We are not built for it.” Like Mother. Just like Mother.

He did not wish to draw that parallel if it were not necessary.

[Beast Boy]

Beast Boy made a face at Brainiac, immediately thinking of Starfire’s strange obsession with flavors that were never meant to go together. And her Tamaranean foods. Ughhh. “Aliens,” he muttered, shaking his head. “No, dude, like vegetables and stuff. Tomatoes, black olives, peppers....”

That piece of information stung Beast Boy, who was usually the butt of anger when he had been meaning well. “You were faking it?” he demanded, hurt and now a little angry himself. “Dude. Why would you fake something like that? I thought I’d touched a nerve or something. But you were making it up just to ‘appear more human’? You’re just you! If you’re not something, don’t do it.” He still didn’t really believe that Brainiac didn’t feel anything, even with the explanation that they went insane if they did. That smile was too ... real to be faked. And the anger, or annoyance, or whatever it had been, too spontaneous to be just done for the sake of ‘appearing human’.

[Brainiac 5]

Aliens? Was that intended to be a derogatory remark towards all those that were not of this planet? Still, it appeared that he had made an error in judgment towards what toppings were considered acceptable, so he shook his head. “I have no opinions on toppings, then. Most of your list has not been tried.”

The other was just. Not. Getting it! He pulled his hand out from Beast Boy’s own, his tone clipped. “I did not make it up. You can touch a nerve without it inspiring emotions, as I know from experience that your suggestion was not something to wish for. I do not make things up. I act as if I were human. How I know I would feel if I could. I would never make things up.”

He closed his eyes, the numbers of one to a hundred quickly scanning through his coding, before he reopened them once more, gazing steadily at Beast Boy as his face and tone returned to its bland, emotionless state. “I cannot afford to be myself, Beast Boy. I am a Coluan amongst humans; Coluans do not get along with other races.” Hopefully, that would be enough. He did not wish to have to specify.

[Beast Boy]

“Really? Okay, we’ll just figure something out when we get there, then.” They did have a menu, after all, and Beast Boy didn’t feel like recounting all possible toppings. Maybe there was something else that Brainiac had tried.

Beast Boy frowned at him, crossing his arms as he listened to the explanation. “If you didn’t have emotions, then you’d just be a simple computer. Computers don’t have nerves to touch, dude.” It just didn’t make sense to him. How Brainiac could say he didn’t have emotions and then react with them—like he was doing right now!

No, now that was just dumb. “So? I’m not asking for the entire Coluan race to show up and be friends with me or something. Humans are scared of aliens. Do I look scared to you?” He waved his arms, as if gestures would somehow make his point better than his words were doing. “Since you get along with other races, then what’s it matter if you’re Coluan or Tamaranean or human?”

[Brainiac 5]

Ah, good, so he did not have to ponder it right now. No, there were different things to consider and think about, at this moment.

That one he could counter. “My COMPUTO is a simple computer, yet it has nerves to touch,” Brainiac responded, firm in his answer. “That assumption may be true in the 21st century, but not 1000.24 years later. You have forgotten to factor that in.” And it was true. COMPUTO did not wish to talk to Lightning Lad if he beat him on one of those rare opportunities at chess, nor if Brainiac continually overrode its warnings. Yet it did not have emotions.

Somehow, in some way, the other’s arguments were making sense, but they did not apply to him. He could not understand. “We are the Coluans. We are a hive mind,” he replied, but his voice was smaller, quieter, and tinted with… something. He did not wish to run an analysis to find out what. “We do not get along well with other races.”

It was drilled into him, beat into him, something that stuck with him through all these years. He was Coluan. He was a hive mind. And if you broke from the mind, permanently cut it off, you were insane, another Brainiac.

Even knowing that, however, he could not help but feel smaller, feel all of the weight of his meager twelve years pile on him as he found himself unable to look at the other. He was a hive mind. Coluan. He was not to become another Brainiac.

[Note: Just so you know, this is propaganda. Brainy would not automatically go insane if he broke from the Hive Mind. In fact, he has, all but consciously, which will likely never happen.]

[Beast Boy]

“How can I factor in something I don’t know?” Beast Boy demanded. A computer having ‘nerves’ but not feelings seemed contradictory. Sure, it was the future, but that didn’t mean that things that didn’t make sense suddenly became the reality, possibly even the norm by the way Brainiac was talking. “Especially since it doesn’t make any sense. I’m talking about feelings when I say ‘touch a nerve’.” Wasn’t everyone?

This just wasn’t making sense to Beast Boy anymore. His ears tilted back, and his brow crinkled as he said, in a much more reasonable, even gentle, tone, “But Brainy.... You are getting along with another race.” That was what they had been doing, this whole time. “Two, actually. Superman isn’t human or Coluan. Maybe more; I don’t know what your teammates are.” Who knew how many aliens walked Earth after a thousand years?

[Brainiac 5]

“Factor in the fact that things may have changed, technology-wise, in the next thousand years.” he corrected, seeing where the other was coming from, but knowing that that had not been his intended point. “Then we are speaking of different nerves.” Somehow, the phrase had changed in the last 1000.24 years, and had evolved into something else. Made sense, that was how language worked, and he had never been one to understand such ‘metaphors’ and ‘slang’, anyway.

He closed his eyes tightly at the next words, speaking in a detached, monotone, completely emotionless voice. If someone who had known his ancestor had heard him, they might have remarked that his voice sounded exactly the same, albeit younger. As it was, his voice sounded more computerized and un-human-like than before. “We are interacting. We are not getting along. You are clearly upset. I...” He hesitated, and that was where he lost his forced tone, his voice shrinking back as it had before. “Do not like the direction this conversation is making its way towards.”

Brainiac 5 paused, however. “Not all are human,” he informed him, his voice gaining strength slightly for that part which he knew, and could state, before it fell once more. “Superman… Brainiacs do not get along with Superman.”

His eyes found his feet, and in the smallest voice had had used since he had left Colu, he spoke up. “Might we speak of something else?”

[Beast Boy]

“Well, yeah, I mean, right now sure, but....” This really wasn’t how Beast Boy’s mind worked at all. He got in arguments with every single one of the other Titans. Repeatedly. Some of them, several times a day. That didn’t mean they didn’t get along. “But we were, and we probably will again pretty soon....” His ears wilted further. He had definitely messed up somewhere. He scratched the back of his head, trying to figure out where he’d messed up but knowing he probably wouldn’t figure it out.

Beast Boy’s mouth fell open. But ... that smile! And then saying he didn’t make things up. And now this? These things... They don’t go together. “No, but... But you do! I mean, you didn’t say so, but you smiled when you talked about Superman! And you.... Well, haven’t been smiling.” His mouth twisted in the lame way he justified it, but it was just one of those feelings. It was hard to think that Brainiac could not get along with Superman after the way he talked about him, even just those couple times.

Brainiac wasn’t a girl and wasn’t crying, but that pose and that voice immediately inspired the same reaction in Beast Boy as if those two other conditions had been met, and he stepped back a little, deflating. “Sure. Uh, I’m sorry.”